Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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