It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
