walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
