I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
