We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
