i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
nutella sex= disaster
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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