Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
