Your tits are I can't wait for
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
