is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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