I am puke
wanna go halves on a baby?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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