I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
