i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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