No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
