I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
