Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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