hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
