At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Randomize
