I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
