Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize