Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
