It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
