I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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