sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's blow job season.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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