Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
