she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
