oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
