First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
