first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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