i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
