Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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