i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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