belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
