It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
