I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
