I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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