it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize