I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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