If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
