I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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