I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
