i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
