And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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