Dual....:-)
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
