We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
