I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Randomize
