you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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