ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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