Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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