he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
