i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
