I need help removing her.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
