I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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