I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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