Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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