Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
3 2 1 whiskey
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
