i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
