Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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