i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dicks are not precious.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
