She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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