Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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