Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
