At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
